im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize