Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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