uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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