I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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