considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
