I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
