Having a random hookup so left but love u
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
