you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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