She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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