he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
