So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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