blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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