I'm so fucking centered right now
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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