I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
that is very illegal...i love you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
