Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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