There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
