HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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