Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
