you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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