some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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