Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
