I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize