she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
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i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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