So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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