I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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