remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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