I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
