I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
