i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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