my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
