i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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