And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize