I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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