I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
