i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
