youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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