Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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