just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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