I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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