I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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