I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
