i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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