More tranny stories later!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
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I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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