Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
