Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
