Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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