dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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