Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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