im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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