I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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