Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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