Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
