jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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