What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
