i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize