is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
