At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
