clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday