I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
