Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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