If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
