Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have post one night stand depression
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