Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
