I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
